Money should never be the reason you are with your significant other. Yet, your financial situation will influence your relationship with one another. If you make more than your husband or have a sudden change in income, then consider setting a time to talk about each other’s feelings and financial plans. Everyone handles their finances differently, so here are some questions to help guide the conversation.
General financial questions
Earning more money for your household is wonderful! It means you have more of a buffer in case of emergencies, more for date nights with your husband, and more to use on vacations. Yet, there can be a lot of hidden emotions and conflicting ideas about what to spend it on. Set expectations together to strengthen your relationship.
How does being the breadwinner make your partner feel? How does it make you feel?
What are your and your spouse’s short-term financial goals? Long-term?
Are you financially on track to reach these goals?
What are your highest expenses right now? Is there anything you can cut back?
Is there anything about your partner’s spending habits that worries you?
What does it mean to be financially comfortable to you vs your spouse?
Is there a price limit on what you can buy before asking your partner?
Do you have equal say over financial decisions?
What is your ideal budget? What is your realistic budget?
Will you share a bank account or credit card?
If you have separate accounts, who is responsible for paying the bills?
Who is responsible for keeping tabs on your finances?
Will you be investing or donating to anything?
How much will go towards any debts or retirement funds?
Do you share debt/retirement funds or are they the individual’s responsibility?
Do you have separate health insurance?
How will you handle out-of-pocket expenses?
Every household has chores and other responsibilities. Yet, not everyone decides who does what the same way. Discuss with your husband what feels fair and evenly split between the two of you. Part of the conversation may be discussing family situations that affect you financially.
Are chores dictated by who makes more or who has the most time?
What responsibilities of childcare/pet care can you do or share?
Are there expectations for your spouse to work full-time or part-time?
How much are you willing to spend on children, fertility treatments, or adoption, or pet care?
How much can you save for schooling/college expenses?
Are you interested in owning a pet(s)? Can you afford the medical expenses, training, and food?
How much are you willing to spend to help family or friends in need? Would you want them to pay you back?
How much are you willing to spend on friend and family gifts?
How do you feel about borrowing money from family/friends?
Are there parents you will need to support financially as they age?
How much money will/can you leave behind if you die?
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