On social media, there are thousands of pictures of family in matching outfits, themed birthday parties, homemade baked goods at fundraisers, and many more “perfect” parent moments. Chasing the put-together perfect mom aesthetic on social media can be exhausting. But moms shouldn’t feel ashamed for not being Pinterest-perfect.
Here are some questions to ask yourself before planning your next social post:
What is the purpose of the post?
Consider why you want to post that birthday party, holiday family photoshoot, parent volunteering position, etc. Do you want other family members far away to be able to share in the joy of the celebration? Is it to increase the visibility of the opportunities available for other parents to get involved? Are you sharing a parent hack with your friends?
Having a specific purpose behind your social posts will help you reinforce a positive perspective toward yourself as a parent. Constantly posting to prove you’re a “perfect mom” can make you feel like you’re a failure if you don’t uphold those standards 24/7. In reality, you are the perfect mom for your kids just because you love and care for them.
Will your family enjoy it without the “perfect aesthetic”?
Pinterest-perfect events are complex. Any food needs to be decorated to perfection, fit the theme, and accommodate everyone’s dietary restrictions. Costumes or outfits bought or put together ahead of time. Invitations need to be designed and sent out to the guests. Will accomplishing all those details make it the perfect day for your family, or will something similar be just as memorable? You know your kids best. So, do what they love no matter if it can be posted to social media or not. If your family is cared for and loved, then you are a perfect mom.
Do you have time to set up that instagramable moment?
Pinterest “perfect” takes up a lot of time! There is hair, makeup, outfits, food, decorations, etc. Do you realistically have the time to organize everything for one social media post? If you said no, then you are in the majority. Set an example for your kids on how to balance work and personal life. Would you rather them remember you as burnt out, stressed, and distracted, or as relaxed and engaged?
Can you outsource tasks?
Being the perfect Pinterest mom doesn’t mean you have to do it on your own. Rely on your supportive community to help make those Instagrammable moments happen. Not a good baker, order a cake from a local bakery. Need help with the decorations, ask your partner or friends to help out. Need time to set up the venue, ask your parents to babysit the kids.
What boundaries should I be setting?
Find what triggers your anxiety over becoming the “perfect” mom. Scrolling through social posts might make you feel like you aren’t doing enough. People picking on your store-bought cookies instead of homemade treats can make you feel like you failed. Throughout your week, observe what you do and who you talk to that triggers your “perfect mom” stress. Then, start to set a boundary that promotes a healthier perspective. It could be as small as setting a timer for how long you spend on social media.
6 Simple Self-Care Activities for Moms
Interested in reconnecting with yourself? Trying to be the “perfect mom” can mean you lose sight of the person you truly are inside and out. IAW member, Brittany Elliott, knows that feeling exactly and created her business to help mothers find themselves again. “As mothers, we are often busy with duties and obligations that are tied to the needs of others like our children and our spouse or partner. While nurturing and meeting the needs of others is very important as mothers, nurturing and meeting our own needs should be even higher on that list,” explained Brittany. Here are a few simple self-care activities for busy moms she shared with us:
- Yoga or Stretching
- Deep, Intentional Breathing
- Listening to a podcast or audiobook
- Taking a Walk